We've been toying with the idea of putting Kerry in a one day a week program for months now ( I think I've mentioned it here before). I've also mentioned Kerry's struggles with separation anxiety...it was a good year before we could even leave her with one of her grandparents for a little while...let alone someone she doesn't know well. I just couldn't take the look of terror, followed by panicked wails the few times we tried. I couldn't put her through it. It's just been this summer that she's gone to Children's Church on Sunday's without tears. Every thing I've ever read about toddler adoption and children who've come from "institutional" settings, along with my gut instincts with her, have told me that I need to be sure that she really "gets" that we'll always come back for her before pushing the issue. But, I've really wanted to put her in some sort of program so she's somewhat prepared for the separation that will come with Pre-K next year. Well, in the just the past couple of months or so, she has started showing so many signs of readiness that we decided to enroll her in a one day a week "Kids Kamp" program. Last Thursday was her first day. Let me tell you I lost some sleep worrying about how she might do. I had to work that day, but luckily Dougs parent's were just minutes away and "on standby" if she got truly and unconsolably upset. We'd spent the previous week talking with her about it, and letting her watch all of the "going to school" programs I could get my hands on. She'd met her "teacher" and some of her little classmates the week before. We got her new shoes, and let her pick out a lunchbox. Anything to prepare her and give her a sense of control in the situation.

Well, I'm very happy to report that my worries were for naught. We walked her to her room and after a quick good bye kiss and an "I'll be back soon"...we left. She had a worried look for a few seconds but "Miss Billie" quickly got her distracted as we left. I stood outside the door for a few seconds.....not so much as one tear (her at least... I was "this close"). Today was her second time going and, again, she did great. She even napped during their rest time which tells me she how comfortable she is with this. My girl finally "gets it". She trusts that we'll a lways come back for her. I can't tell you how happy this makes me. Yes it's always bittersweet when you see your child growing up and not needing you as much. But I'm so happy for her that she finally seems to feel safe in the knowledge that we'll never leave her.