1 year referral anniversary

This day, one year ago, started out like any other day really. I got up, got ready, kissed my husband of 12 years good bye and headed to work.


Wait. Let me back up a bit first and give a little of the back story to our journey. I've always, always wanted to be a Mom, more than anything else really. But, as in almost everything in my life, nothing happens quite the same way as it does for most others. We ended up having roadblocks and obstacles, and we tried to remove/get around them medically, but deep down I felt God was whispering "Wait. I have a plan, this isn't it". I think Doug felt it too. But I found it hard to listen in my growing frustration and impatience. Then in March of 2007, we attended an adoption conference. We were both instantly drawn to the China program, and in Sept 2007 we were logged in and began waiting....more waiting. For the first time it felt like we were going down the right path. It felt right, but still not "quite" right, somehow. I kept finding myself drawn more and more toward the "special needs" program. I think deep down, I felt from the start that it's where we would end up. I had been waiting for Doug to feel the same way, without any prodding from me. Then sometime around November 2008, he started bringing up the idea and I immediately agreed, we had a homestudy coming up soon anyway. So on December 13 of last year we handed Beth, our agency's homestudy provider, the list of all of the special needs we felt capable of accepting. It felt...completely..right. For the first time, I felt a weight was lifted, as if God was saying " Thank you...now I'll take over from here". I knew he was in control, and I had a hunch that things would happen quickly, and I felt that SHE was already born. I don't remember sharing this with anyone, I guess I didn't want to get my hopes up.

Anyway , 2 1/2 months later, February 27th, started out like any other day plugging along through the morning at work. Until a co-worker informed me that I had a call on line 4.... from my adoption agency. Cue the sound of a needle scratching across a record. Everything seemed to stop. In nanoseconds I went through a mental checklist of the possible reasons why she would me calling me. Any paperwork or other updates due? No. Have we called with any questions recently? No. Any fees owed? No. That left one reason why she would be calling me, at work, on a weekday morning. So I took a deep breath, picked up the phone, and the conversation went something like this.

"Hi, this is Dana from A Helping Hand"

"Hi." (my voice was already shaking by this time)

"How are you?"

"I'm fine, how are you?" (please get to the point before I fall apart )

"Well, I think we found a baby for you last night"

"Oh, my gosh" (is this really happening?)

"She has a VSD, she turns one year old tomorrow, and she's really cute"

"Oh my gosh" ( this IS really happening!)

After finishing our conversation and hanging up the phone I immediately called Doug and told him to "wake up" (he works nights), "they have a baby for us, I'm on my way home, get the computer turned on" It took me about 8 1/2 minutes to get home. Doug was wide awake by now and met me at the door. We went downstairs to open the e-mail and saw HER face for the first time..

I believe the first words out if my mouth were "oh my gosh! Are you kidding me?!" I couldn't get over how adorable and healthy and bright she looked.

Then we opened the second photo, and fell even harder for her.

And her "mug shot" just cracked us up.

I remember looking at these precious pictures and thinking we might "have our hands full" with this little one. (This was the first thing my friend, Jess said, too.) There was something about the glint in her eyes and the look of, I don't know, awareness... intelligence. And she was just over 4 1/2 months in these photos. Let me tell you, I had copies in practically every room but the bathroom. And I never left home without them in my purse. I read, and re-read the referral information countless times looking for clues into her personality and character. Looking back, I'm struck by how similar the way she was described then is to how she still "is" now.

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  upon admission at 2 days of age: "cry aloud, suck powerfully"...She still eats and drinks...and cries... with gusto.
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  at 2 months: "mental develop fast, facial expression became more and more"...Yep, our girl is quick as a whip.
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  at 3 months: "she babbled, know anger, grief, joy, and happiness. Know how to use smile and cry to express her feeling"....Yeeeeahh, this was an understatement. This girl has no problem expressing herself =).


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  at 4 months: "fond of playing outdoors. Stare at the car passing by and the dog in the lawn for a long time"...She loves being outside, taking walks, or just looking out the window.



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  "kick her feet and jump when standing with help"....she is CONSTANTLY jumping around or hopping in place, or dancing around doing her "happy feet" routine.



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• "She likes listening to the music"....Check.


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  "She is tender, not shy" ...Check and double check.


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• "like clean"...She HATES to have dirty hands.



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  "She has a round face, big eyes, and that make her lovely and adorable"...We couldn't agree more =).

We love our Ker-Bear so much, and we are so blessed to have her in our lives... one year later.