Sunday, July 24, 2011

Kerry is very interested in where Daddy and I (part time) work and last night she asked why Daddy had to go to work. After I explained it to her she said
"When I get big I can go to work and make green money, too!" haha.
Daddy is lucky enough to be on vacation this coming week. We have a few fun things planned. Kerry is thrilled that she'll get to spend so much time with Daddy this week and says "I'm on bay-cation, too!"
She's recently learned that everyone in the family has an actual name besides just what she's used to calling them so she often tells us "Mamaw is Clara, and Papaw is Albert and Nana is Sandy and my other Papaw is John...and so on" She also knows both of our names and her full name. I guess I hadn't really taught her this yet since she really doesn't do anything independent from us yet, but I'm hoping, soon, to get her into something like a Mother's day out thing one day a week to help get her ready for the separation from us that she'll experience when she starts preschool next year
(gulp).
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Another thing she's into lately is telling made up stories.
Here she's in the middle of telling one of the many "stories" that she's started coming up with lately.

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You know..the kind that you can only sit back and listen to while saying "uh, huh".."wow!
''.."is that so?".
Which kind of brings me back to the separation thing. The one lingering "adoption related" issue she struggles with is some pretty significant separation anxiety. We
ll I've noticed a theme in some of her little stories, as if she's trying to process and deal with these anxieties. She tells stories about how the "Little Ein-skines" come and pick her up and she goes off with them and plays and she doesn't cry and then they bring her back to Mommy and Daddy. Or she'll tell stories about how going to the store by herself and that she's "not afraid of the big people" and that she doesn't cry and then she comes home to Mommy and Daddy. I think she's really making some progress in this area. In fact, today, she went to her "new class" (three-four year old class) at church with only a few brief tears initially, and she ended up doing great and seemed to really enjoy it and and said she wanted to go back again next week. I peeked in the window before picking her up and she looked so cute and tiny sitting in her little chair at the table, yet at the same time she's proving what a big girl she's becoming.

6 comments:

Football and Fried Rice said...

I know, I know. I gulp just thinking about every new transition - especially for our little girlies. I find peace in knowing that God has their hearts in the palm of His hand and we can DO THIS!!!

Kristi said...

what a sweetie! Piper has been telling some stories lately also - they are always about China...I honestly don't think she remembers being in China but she does love to talk about it!

Jessie said...

Don't you just love how those little minds work?! I still get those kind of stories occasionally! These expressions are killing me, Kerry is such a cutie (I'm sure a little character too)!

Lisa and Tate said...

Just love those facial expressions when she is telling her stories! So lucky Kerry does not have to daycare. Way to go Kerry going to sunday school all by yourself. Yippee!

the meaklims said...

Aww, little sweetie...I hope she can overcome this before you need to be separated. That's not fun for a Mama or child. But she seems to be working it out through role play which is awesome.

Before Lilah went to camp I had her rhyming off our full adress, phone number, name, our names, etc. Scared me skinny that something would happen and she wouldn't know where we lived, etc. Also, since our last home study/social worker visit I've been teaching her the fire evacuation plan for our house. That is one of the things on the homestudy checklist we hadn't done and needed to do - I would never have thought of it.

Don't you just love when they figure out our names. If Lilah is role playing, she generally always uses our first names! Haha! Last year when we were home (in Ireland) visiting our parents it was so sweet that she started putting her grandparents names together and asking me why I called Nono my Mum, it took her a couple of days to figure out the whole her grandparents are actually our parents thing. Seomtimes if I'm on the phone with my Mum, she'll say, Are you talking to your Mum?" ...rather than saying Nono. Too funny!

It is a big transition, and I found it was a bigger transition for me, than it was for her. Man oh man, it is hard.

Love her sweet cute and funny little face, she reminds me so much of Lilah! Adorable!
Jill

Ms. J said...

I can't tell you how much relief it gives me when I read about other adoptive parents who can admit that their child has something that lingers, no matter how wonderful the transition or attachment, yadda. Drives me nuts (and I don't trust) when people act like it's all hearts and unicorns, as you know.

Sounds like Kerry is definitely making progress! When it comes to preschool (eventually), you might want to consider getting the class roster ahead of time, and having playdates with 1-2 of the little girls, and solidifying a friendship there, so that Kerry feels more secure and at home once classes start. Lil Pumpkin's BFF (also adopted from China) is 3.5 and still has moderate-to-severe separation issues. Having the girls take art classes together has helped her BFF a lot, though.

It helped LP feel more comfortable in pre-school to visit a few times before classes started, and hang out one-on-one with her teacher. Educating her teacher on attachment and separation-issues also helped us, and thankfully she was very receptive to it (not all are).

(P.S. for anyone reading this comment who doesn't know me, our big issue happened on the front end, with severe grief and attachment issues for our daughter, adopted from China as a toddler).

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I've been happily married to my wonderful husband for 15 years. Two year ago we were blessed to welcome our first child, a Daughter from China and are absolutely in love with her.

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